The Giving Tree

Does breast cancer run in your family?

I want to answer this question with confidence. I also want to love mushrooms, but my confidence shakes there as well.

I do not know my bio-dad. Never made contact, never seen more than a blurred pic of the side of his shoulders and head. Not much to work with in regards to health history.

Simply. I. Do. Not. Know.

I want to. I’d like to look at him. I’d like to hear his voice. I’d like to hear his stories. I would like to let him know I hold no anger, I do not long for making up time, nor do I want money / material.

I come back to the health history page in front of me, and once again, admit I have no idea.

This whole bio-dad journey is long, strange and trippy. And still going, strong. But, that story will be shared on a different page.

I will say; however, the untold and unknown story of my conception is becoming strength, over despair. In the void of my health history, I let go of embarrassment and frustration. I sent my DNA on a postal journey to spread, expose, and invite DNA kin to an online introductions….then wait. And even though I haven’t fully been able to manifest an understanding of where I came from, I understand myself more. I can finally let myself feel angry, sadness and just plain loss for the unknown. I let it out, I move through it. I have no anger to either parent, nor do I feel deprived. This is my journey too, and I can walk it with truth, pain and love.

What I have discovered is families are shady; ironically, my family tree does not provide much shade. The leaves of the family tree appear carefully chosen. I remain part of the giving tree, DNA ain’t got nothing on us.

So, no I have no clue what runs in my family.

Except me.

I have run thousands of miles. And my breasts have been there.

And the tree was happy.